Week 2 of my second round of the MKMMA experience and I was faced with obstacles which seemed to impede my progress in the course. I wrote of facing obstacles previously (https://masterkeymiltona.wordpress.com/2015/11/08/week-6-mkmma-ordinary-life-vs-extraordinary-life/) wherein I questioned whether I wanted an ordinary life or an extraordinary life. My choice – an extraordinary life.
However, when faced with obstacles again I seemed to have somewhat lost my momentum to achieving an extraordinary life (or perhaps its just my gratitude for life that is flailing). As I reflect on my last post the obstacles I wrote of seem frivolous in comparison to what life has put in my path now. As I write this I am finding it difficult to find the words to explain the “obstacle” that has been put in my path so perhaps the best way is to be factual – my 15 year old son is suffering from an acute first episode psychosis. As a result he has been hopsitalised for almost 6 weeks and at times does not recognise me as his mother.
I have grieved the loss of my son as he once was and am working on embracing my son for who he is now and who he will be after this episode. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and as my DMP involves helping youths become more self-aware I have chosen to view this as experiential learning. My experience will enable to be more empathetic in my pursued passion.
Noting the outside world reflects the inside world, I was lead to the question “Are obstacles self imposed?” The short answer “Yes” but now I am faced with asking myself the hard question “Where in my ‘inside world’ am I suffering such turmoil?”
I will share the answer with you soon.